Jalopnik Please

"jkm7680" (jkm7680) 09/25/2016 at 20:58 • Filed to: None

15

79

I still don’t need 50% off a giant dildo.

Also, TIL that dildo/apple fusion trees exist.

TheHondaBro > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:01

12

Yeah you do. You just don’t know it yet.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:01

5

“Mommy? Where do dildo’s come from?” “The dilo tree honey the one and only dildo tree.”

jkm7680 > TheHondaBro 09/25/2016 at 21:02

1

If I were going to get one, it would be for either you, SavetheIntergras, or Scoob.

jkm7680 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 09/25/2016 at 21:03

2

“that’s mommys special tree, don’t fuck with it or I’ll kill the shit outta you sweetie.”

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:05

5

Full price it is, then!

PRBot II > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:06

4

Gawker Media shareholders insist that the Gawker brand is risqué and hip. So, dildos.

S65 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:06

1

jkm7680 > S65 09/25/2016 at 21:07

0

Yes, I am fairly sure about it.

Would you like me to procure one for you though?

S65 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:08

0

Give that to Scoob

Viggen > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:08

0

What if your money went to support that underfunded ‘Zombie Dodge’ conveniently mentioned below the ad?

jkm7680 > S65 09/25/2016 at 21:09

0

I already got him one though. You’re next in line!

bhtooefr > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:09

1

That really seems like an ad that was intended for Jezebel (which, quite frankly, is their target market - female, sex-positive - and they carry NSFW content, so a sex toy ad fits in), and somehow made it over to Jalopnik.

(That’s not to say that Jalopnik’s users don’t use sex toys, just that their targeting was poor... or they got Kinja’d.)

jkm7680 > Viggen 09/25/2016 at 21:09

0

me no speak english then

Viggen > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:10

0

Poor ‘Zombie Dodge’...

Matt Nichelson > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:11

5

But what if it was blue and was sponsered by Audi?

jkm7680 > Matt Nichelson 09/25/2016 at 21:13

1

Then I would not buy it.

crowmolly > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:13

2

jkm7680 > Viggen 09/25/2016 at 21:13

0

no se

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:16

3

Quelle horreur! Won’t somebody think of the children?!

jkm7680 > crowmolly 09/25/2016 at 21:17

0

What the hell, hahaha.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:18

2

I’m just not sure why it’s there in the first place.

whoarder is tellurium > crowmolly 09/25/2016 at 21:20

0

Perfect. lolol

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:21

5

Because a sales rep successfully landed an ad contract with Adam & Eve to display their ads on Gawker Media Group/Univision properties.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:22

0

50% off? So you get half a dildo?

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:22

1

Interesting.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > TheHondaBro 09/25/2016 at 21:23

0

dicks out...

jkm7680 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2016 at 21:23

1

Oooh, good point!

But what part of the dildo is the half off part? That is the important question.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:26

1

Two votes for scoob so far.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:26

2

Not really. It’s not new. It’s the same as the ads with hot girls in scant clothes advertising “male enhancement” products on the sports page of your hometown newspaper. And Adam & Eve doesn’t cater specifically to women (nor are dildos marketed specifically to straight women or gay men. Plenty of straight men use them, too). So, no, the argument that the ad has no place on Jalopnik or would be better suited on Jez holds no water.

TheHondaBro > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) 09/25/2016 at 21:27

3

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:28

2

Although they are broke, this is unacceptable. It makes me want to turn ad block on again so they get no revenue.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:28

5

Yes interesting.

It’s a car blog.

Matt Nichelson > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:30

2

Well I tried.

jkm7680 > Matt Nichelson 09/25/2016 at 21:31

0

I give you credit for trying.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:32

1

Nope. Not interesting at all. It’s a media outlet that mostly focuses on cars/the auto industry/car culture where the decisions of editorial have little to do with the decisions of advertising. And (pretty much) anything that pays the bills will be accepted as advertising.

What does Viagra have to do with sports agates? Absolutely nothing, but those ads still paid to be in the paper, and sometimes even pay for specific placement. For all we know, Adam & Eve may have similarly paid for placement on Jalopnik.

And again, sex toys, lubes, etc. are for people of all genders and persuasions. Just like cars.

thebigbossyboss > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:33

3

JKM can afford full price dildos’.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:34

2

I disagree with you.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:35

3

adblock plus and you never see them

LongbowMkII > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/25/2016 at 21:36

1

IM OFFENDED. How can there one ads with poorly illustrated penises? I demand more dickbutt.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:36

0

You can disagree all you want, but it doesn’t make the point you’re disagreeing with untrue. I’ve worked in media for over a decade. That’s how the business works. Don’t like the ads? Too bad. They’re what keep Jalopnik running.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:38

8

“ Don’t like the ads? Too bad. They’re what keep Jalopnik running.”

Obviously.

Just let me have my own opinion.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:40

0

There’s a certain saying about opinions...

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/25/2016 at 21:42

0

But which half is the important question.

LongbowMkII > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:42

2

You think that’s a giant dildo? Don’t explore the depths of depravity the Internet has to offer.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:43

7

Everybody has them.

Not everybody has to challenge them.

TheHondaBro > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:43

6

The last thing I want while reading the latest Corvette news is an ad featuring a crudely-illustrated purple dildo.

And before you start composing your reply, I’m also not fond of the ads featuring scantily-clad women.

CB > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:45

1

Statistically speaking, loads of people are having sex. And clearly people use things in the bedroom. Really, I see no problems with this.

Do you also complain when they post bags? Ear buds? Bluetooth speakers? Powerpacks? Because those are only tangentially related to cars at best. This is no different.

CB > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:46

2

Please gods, do not think of the children .

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > LongbowMkII 09/25/2016 at 21:46

0

Thing is, it’s maybe not something you should have as a pop up banner just in case someone is looking at your screen

Xyl0c41n3 > TheHondaBro 09/25/2016 at 21:47

0

You realize you’ve just broken that illustrator’s heart, right? How could you?!

jkm7680 > CB 09/25/2016 at 21:47

5

I don’t think I’ve shoved a Bluetooth speaker in my ass recently.

CB > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:48

1

And? Different products cover different markets. I don’t use my bag to play music, I don’t use my earbuds to hold things. What about this bothers you? It’s a product for sale. Big whoop.

Oh, and the code doesn’t just work on dildos. There’s plenty of stuff in there.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:48

0

You said you weren’t sure why the ad was there in the first place. I explained it to you. None of that is a matter of opinion.

And “everybody has opinions” is the correct first half of the saying. The second half is... different. :)

Xyl0c41n3 > CB 09/25/2016 at 21:50

1

Well, children was a metaphor.

jkm7680 > CB 09/25/2016 at 21:50

1

It doesn’t bother me.

I find it odd because I’ve never seen a dildo tree on a car website.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:51

0

,

CB > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:52

5

Torch has made weirder stuff.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:52

0



TheHondaBro > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:53

10

So instead of a well thought-out reply, you resorted to passive-aggression.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 21:53

0

I tried to load a gif, but Kinja said no.

jkm7680 > CB 09/25/2016 at 21:54

0

That is true. However, I’m pretty sure Torch huffs glue before posting articles.

Xyl0c41n3 > TheHondaBro 09/25/2016 at 21:54

0

We don’t know that illustrator doesn’t frequent kinja. S/he might truly be hurt someone has a bad opinion of their work. Sorry that wasn’t the reply you were looking for? But it’s the one I chose to make. *shrug*

LongbowMkII > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 09/25/2016 at 21:58

2

Who? Is a drawing of a dildo that much worse than fuck being commonly used in headlines or $kay’s COTD prize?

LongbowMkII > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 21:59

3

Be sure to use the bass boost.

Jayhawk Jake > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 22:00

1

Many sports fans happen to be middle aged men. Some middle aged men have erectile dysfunction. Therefore viagra ad.

That being said, I don’t know what Viagra ads you’re looking at but they usually don’t feature a large purple dong. Scantily clad women sure fine not ideal but at least in my recollection the level of scantily clad typically seen wouldn’t be deemed inappropriate by a third party observer.

A large purple dong is quite a bit more brash. I don’t really see how that ad is considered appropriate, especially on a car blog.

And yes, Adam and Eve paid for that spot, but Jalopnik has editorial control of what is actually published. They certainly have the capacity to go back to them and say ‘yeah, we’d rather not display ads with large purple dongs in them’

CB > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 22:01

0

Now that’s just insulting, dude.

jkm7680 > CB 09/25/2016 at 22:01

0

I am kidding.

I also hope you aren’t serious.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > LongbowMkII 09/25/2016 at 22:02

3

Yes but $kay’s COTD posts you have to look for by clicking on an article. And it’s the fact that it’s a picture and not a headline.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 22:04

2

Everyone needs a giant purple dildo, Even if they don’t want to admit it. And now what’s left of Gawker is helping you get one half off. Everybody wins!

Xyl0c41n3 > Jayhawk Jake 09/25/2016 at 22:11

0

Not necessarily. Like I said earlier, editorial and advertising are two completely different beasts. But even if Patrick George has veto authority on ads (which I sincerely doubt he does), he might not care that there’s a giant purple phallus on Jalopnik.

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 22:21

1

Thanks for the post! I though it was a targeted ad and was wondering why google though I needed a dildo. I don’t even watch lesbian porn.

Tekamul > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 22:47

3

It’s all fun and games until Jalopnik gets flagged as a site with pornography in content advisor, thus adding it to thousands of company’s automatic blocking.

Mercedes Streeter > Xyl0c41n3 09/25/2016 at 23:25

1

(Note: I could not care any less than I currently do about the products Gawker advertises for. :D)

Anyway, I mostly hate the ad because my workplace has a heavy filter. It blocks Jalopnik whenever that ad appears.

Similarly, whenever a Jezebel author decides to use a NSFW article photo and it makes it to the top list of recommended stories, pretty much all of Univision-Gawker becomes inaccessible save for sub-blogs. :(

Oh, and Kotaku is blocked by default, for some reason. lol

Yet, the crazy racist conservative guy at work has all sorts of unhindered access to The Drudge Report, Stormfront, and Breitbart.

So, he can stroke his hateful ego all day, but if a stupid animated dildo appears on someone’s screen, it’s all red alert!

*Sigh* End rant. I hate web filtering. I’m not even allowed to install an adblocker because the computer is company property.

wiffleballtony > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 23:33

1

What size do you want then? We’re not mind readers.

jkm7680 > wiffleballtony 09/25/2016 at 23:35

0

Washington monument sized?

wiffleballtony > jkm7680 09/25/2016 at 23:41

0

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > jkm7680 09/26/2016 at 00:31

0

From a marketing perspective, we kinda are the target audience for Adam and Eve. With a country with such divorce rates, they intend to jazz up those marriages!

wkiernan > jkm7680 09/26/2016 at 06:19

0

At the BSIG meeting in January 1990.

OK, gentlemen, I believe we have a successful wide-area network driver suite. That’s phase two.

What was phase one again?

That was where we made a solid system for local-area networks.

OK, what’s next on the agenda?

Our next project will be to connect two devices wirelessly at a very short range, such as three or six feet.

“Wireless”? Who needs wireless to connect two devices at arm’s length? Why not run a wire, when it’s so much simpler and cheaper?

Well, sometimes, under some circumstances, you simply don’t want the wire.

When?

Um... [whispers]

Uh. Hmmm. I see. OK, then. We’ll get right to work.

Nimbus The Legend - Riding on air like a cloud > jkm7680 09/26/2016 at 19:33

0

if you take 50% off a giant one, is it still a giant or is it medium? small?